The 12 Days of Christmas (and a Dash of Chanukah)
by cakelesspixels
Summary: Twelve Christmas and Chanukah themed shorts with the Road Rovers and Earthworm Jim. There are a few OCs in the mix as well.


**December 14**

"How about this one, Jim?" Peter pointed to a modest tree. It was healthy and it would have been a perfect fit for the living room. Peter had been careful to measure the space before they'd left. It was something Jim never thought twice about. He was the type to pick out whatever tree he wanted and, if it didn't fit, he'd make it fit.

"You're not thinking big enough," Jim said.

"I'm thinking that I want the tree to fit in the house this Christmas."

"Oh my sweet summer child." Jim shook his head. "You don't worry about things like that at Christmas. This is the season where nothing is too big or too gaudy."

"Sweet summer child?" Peter raised an eyebrow. "Jim, since when do you even know what Game of Thrones is?"

"I'll forgive you for your ignorance." Jim continued on as though Peter had said nothing. "This is all still so new to you. The joy of the holiday season has never reached… wait, what was the name of your planet again?"

"I think I have the hang of Christmas by now." It was Peter's turn to ignore Jim's question.

This was Peter's third Christmas on earth. The hostile planet Peter originated from hadn't been the ideal place to grow up or to live. When Jim had crash landed on the planet, it had been a blessing in Peter's eyes; it was his chance to escape. For all of earth's problems, it had been a vast improvement.

"This!" Jim exclaimed. "This is our tree!" He had found the biggest tree in the lot. Peter gave a sigh of defeat. Jim was never one to back down from his choice of Christmas tree. Getting that thing home was going to be one hell of an adventure, but it would be even worse trying to get it inside.

Peter briefly wondered how wise of an investment it would be to just go ahead and raise the 15

**December 15**

Anaïs had plenty of hometown pride to go around. Katya, Hana and D'Artagnan learned that meant they were privy to far too many local festivals and events that Anaïs felt were important to share with those she loved most. She hadn't managed to trick everyone into attending these events yet, but she was working on it. For now, it meant Katya, Hana and D'Artagnan received the brunt of her enthusiasm. The Circleville Pumpkin Show hadn't been too bad. The worst of that had been how strange it was to be in small town America without having a mission to complete.

Now Anaïs had talked the two of them into going to 'Wild Lights'. Katya didn't quite get the appeal of it, but Anaïs had been so thrilled by the idea that it was hard to say no to the feline. The zoo was decorated with Christmas lights for the season; patrons were invited to come see the lights and to see the animal exhibits that were still open. The park was filled with Christmas music that was blasting over unseen loud speakers. There was no way to really escape it.

Katya hated to admit that it really was beautiful. The path they walked on was illuminated by the blue lights in the trees. Every part of the park had its own unique lighting scheme and decorations. The blue lighting on the walkway was soothing. Rather than be a depressing sight, it was heartwarming. She would never admit that to the cat.

"This is so beautiful!" Hana exclaimed. It was no surprise she would be honest in her opinion. It was who Hana was. And she was never one to pretend she didn't admire beautiful things.

"We need to go see the musical trees!" Anaïs exclaimed. She took hold of D'Artagnan's arm. The older, black cat had become like an uncle figure to the younger Tonkinese cat. Anaïs seemed to embrace the role of niece in his life.

"Musical trees?" D'Artagnan repeated.

"Just watch," she said. She led the group to a small lake within the zoo. There were trees surrounding it that were covered with lights and a few trees sat out on the water. There were hanging lights all around. It took a second before music slowly began to start up again. The lights flashed in time with the music. Katya could hear Hana expressing her joy and excitement in Japanese; she didn't understand a word of it, but Hana sounded impressed. Katya had to admit, it was quite an amazing sight. She would have never had the patience to set up such a display. She gave silent kudos to the people responsible.

"I told you this would be worth it, didn't I?"

"I guess you did," Katya agreed. "As you Americans say, it's not too shabby."

They stood and watched the lights in awe. Fortunately, the humans around them let them be. It was difficult to go out in public now that people knew about the Rovers. They did back off and give them some privacy, but every so often someone would ask for an autograph or to scream insults in their faces. For today, however, they were left alone.

"Oh, applesauce!" Anaïs said. "We're running late."

D'Artagnan gave her a look. "Applesauce?"

"Yeah, it's an American phrase."

"If you're from nineteen twenty." Katya laughed.

"I'm bringing it back."

"Nyet." Katya shook her head. "You are not."

"What are we late for?" Hana interrupted.

"Right!" Anaïs started to lead the group onward. "I talked some of Diamond and the Rovers and most of Procyon Strike into coming! We're going to meet them by the carousel and then get some hot chocolate together."

"Oh good," Katya said. "This trip wasn't painful enough."

"The Wild Katz couldn't make it though."

Katya laughed. "It is times like this I want to believe in God again," she said. "For that would be a sign that He truly loves me."

Katya's comment was met with a playful punch in the arm from Anaïs.

**December 16**

"….Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh. Amein."

Shag had been watching the family as they lit the chanukiah. He knew the tradition inside and out by now. He knew the prayers, the candle lighting tradition and he knew they would soon start singing Chanukkah songs. Their voices were always off-key as they clapped along with their own singing. Shag curled up at the oldest daughter's feet as they continued to sing.

It didn't matter that they couldn't carry a tune to save their lives. That wasn't the important part. It was that lack of harmonious singing that made him feel at home. When they finished with their singing, they exchanged gifts. The gifts weren't flashy or bright; they were all simple, inexpensive gifts. They had always felt it was more important to give from the heart than the wallet. In general, Chanukkah wasn't as flashy as Christmas. Some families chose to go all out, but Shag's family liked to keep it simple.

"Shag, Sie haben ein Chanukkah vorhanden." Ursula said. Ursula was the baby of the family at the tender age of nine. He'd known they were planning to give him a present. They did it every year. Ursula hadn't needed to announce it. She placed the wrapped box in front of him before lying on her stomach to watch him. She had always insisted on wrapping his gift. Shag had heard her tell her parents it was a requirement because, in her words, Shag was family too. She kicked her feet in the air behind her excitedly watching her dog.

Shag knew the routine. He started to pull at the wrapping paper with his teeth. He finally got through the paper to reveal a little box underneath. Ursula lifted the lid for him so he could peer inside to see a collection of cow hooves. He wagged his tail at the sight of trimmed and roasted hooves. It was one of his favorite treats.

"Frohes Chanukkah!" Ursula wrapped her arms around Shag to hug him. Shag was a bit distracted by his newly acquired gift, but he did lean into her embrace. He took one of the hooves to begin chewing on it while sitting next to Ursula while the family continued to exchange gifts.

It was moments like this that made Chanukkah one of his favorite holidays.

**December 17**

Blitz kept by Angela's side. While she may have been the chancellor of Germany, she made sure to attend Berlin's Cristkindlmarkt every year. Berlin wasn't the only city to have the festival, but Blitz had only been to the one in Berlin. He figured it was safe to assume it was one of the best. When night fell, the market place came to life. The trees that lined the pathways were covered with lights while a beautifully decorated Christmas tree sat in the center of it all.

He wasn't in sapien form to enjoy it, but he didn't need to be. He had Angela with him to explore. It was the one time of year that Chancellor Angela Kohl was free to act like an average human being. Her bodyguards were nearby, of course. The townspeople, however, treated her normally. They knew to expect her every year and embraced the chancellor as if she were any other stranger at the festival. Political affiliations were forgotten, except in a few instances; there were a few people who didn't put aside their politics for the evening. The majority of people decided now was the time to live and let live; the festival was for celebration and there was no need to mix negativity or, alternatively, hero worship into it.

In fact, Blitz was the one gaining the most attention that evening. Humans were a sucker for a dog wearing a Christmas sweater. Angela had been sure to wrap him up in a red sweater with white snowflake and reindeer patterns; his short fur was not idea for the cold. He was just relieved that his teammates weren't around to see this.

With the sound of Christmas music all around them and gorgeously lit rides, Blitz momentarily wished he could share this with the rest of his team. All he needed was to make sure he wasn't wearing his sweater when they were there. Maybe he would suggest they go on one of the other days. For today, he was there with his owner. He stopped to watch as a little girl ran past him. While she was screaming, there was a large smile on her face. Only a few feet behind her was a man dressed in a Krampuslauf costume. He must have been pretending to punish bad children around the festival. There was a couple only a few feet away laughing at the display. Blitz assumed they were the girl's parents.

"Blitz, komm!"

Blitz hadn't even realized he'd started to fall behind his master. He trotted to catch up to her and he was immediately rewarded with a scratch behind his ears and a piece of kielbasa. "Braver hund," she said. Blitz continued to follow his owner as she led him to the Ferris wheel. Although she was treated normally in most instances at the festival, she did manage to pull one string; every year, she managed to get them to let her bring Blitz onto the Ferris wheel with her. He'd been so well behaved about it in the past that no one argued against it. They took their usual seat, one of Angela's body guards sitting across from her.

Blitz jumped up onto the seat with his owner before lying down. He rested his head on his lap. The ride slowly started up, but Blitz kept his head down. It wasn't until they reached the top that he finally sat back up to look over the lights. He could feel Angela lovingly pet him as they both looked out at the festival below them.

This was Christmas.

**December 18**

"I wish you had someone to be with during the holiday."

"I'm fine."

"You'll be all on your lonesome though."

Colleen knew her brother was a private person. Rhett was one of the few Rovers who had refused to take an owner. The Master had been concerned about placing him in a home with his attitude, but Colleen was convinced all he needed was a loving family to turn things around. There were families that wouldn't have minded an independent dog. They would simply have to find one of those families. Rhett could be happy.

"I'm fine with that."

"You'll at least spend Christmas Eve with me, yeah?"

Rhett glanced over at his sister and gave a nod. He wasn't going to get emotional about the holiday, but he wasn't about to turn down his sister. He didn't want to dampen her Christmas regardless of unenthusiastic he was about everything.

Colleen smiled. "You better eat a light breakfast that morning," she said. "'Cuz I plan to stuff you like a turducken that day."

He didn't give a verbal response and Colleen hadn't anticipated one. Knowing he'd be there was enough. Her brother had never been one to give heartfelt displays. He showed his love simply by doing things. Colleen would have described him as being a firm believer in actions speaking louder than words.

"Maybe I can even get you to sing some carols with me."

"Sounds about as pleasurable as taking acid to the face."

Colleen made a face. "You're a pleasant one, aren't ya?"

**December 19**

"In Russia, Christmas Day is not until January." Exile had time before he needed to be home with his family for the holiday. "My family does not start celebrating until the thirty-first."

With so much time on his hands, he decided to invite Blitz to head stateside with him to see what an American Christmas was like.

"Do Americans do the twelve dishes for Christmas?"

"I don't think so," Blitz said.

"Ah, that is shame! It is my favorite meal of the year." He laughed before giving Blitz a friendly slap on the back. It had nearly knocked the Doberman over. Exile didn't really know his own strength. "Blitz, you know what it is we should be doing?"

"Going somewhere that's warm?"

"Do not be whiny pants," Exile said. "We are in New York! We need to be ice skating. It is a tradition in America. I see it all the time on TV."

Blitz shook his head. "Do I look like someone who ice skates?"

Exile looked him over. "True," he said. "I am sure it is something you could not handle."

Blitz glared at him. "And what makes you think I can't handle it?"

"Why else would you be acting like scaredy cat?"

"I'm not acting like a scaredy cat!"

Exile smirked and crossed his arms, silently goading Blitz even further.

"I can skate!" Blitz said, definitely. "I just didn't want to make you look bad by blowing your skating skills out of the water!"

"How about putting your mouth where your words are?"

Blitz knew Exile had said the phrase 'put your money where your mouth is' wrong, but it didn't matter. Protecting his reputation was the important part. "I will!"

Exile laughed as Blitz stormed off toward the ice skating rink. He wasn't really interested in challenging the Doberman, but he knew it was a surefire way to motivate him. After some time on the ice, Exile was confident Blitz would forget about the "challenge" and simply have fun. Exile would be having good old-fashioned Christmas fun soon enough.

Exile chuckled. "I love Christmas in America."

**December 20**

"What did you call these things?"

"Reindeer Oreo cookie balls," Jim said. "Look at how cute they are." He held one out to Princess What's-Her-Name. "They have little candy eyes and a red hot nose. They made the little antlers out of–"

Before Jim could finish his sentence, the princess had popped one in her mouth.

"…Pipe cleaners," he said. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to take those off first."

The princess shrugged before swallowing the Christmas treat. "Tastes fine with them on."

Aliens, Jim thought. It was the strange side effect of being surrounded by aliens from other planets and galaxies. They were fascinating to be around, but they didn't always quite understand earth customs. The princess took the tray of reindeer cookies into the living room and Jim followed. She'd agreed to come to Jim's 'secret base' to watch old Christmas films. It had taken some convincing, but the princess finally relented over the promise of Christmas-themed food.

Jim hoped it'd become a yearly tradition.

**December 21**

"I hate Christmas music."

"How can you hate Christmas music?"

"Have you listened to it?"

Peter reached over to turn down the radio. Katya could be something of a downer at times. The two of them had left Jim alone with the princess. Peter knew he'd want the privacy to give Princess What's-Her-Name an early Christmas present. "Nevermind," Peter said. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What's that?"

Peter handed over a small, brightly wrapped box to the Russian Spaniel. She looked down at it in confusion before taking it from him. "You got me a Christmas gift?"

"I know you don't like the commercialism of the holiday, but I still wanted to do something for you," he admitted. "I didn't know if I'd see you on Christmas so I wanted to give it to you now."

Katya watched him a moment, still confused. She tore open the wrapping paper in order to open the little box in her hands. Inside was a dog tag on a silver chain. On the tag itself was a silver and blue snowflake that looked as if it were glowing.

"I don't really know what earth dogs are into," he admitted. "I saw you were the only one without your own tag so I thought I'd give you one. This one looked like one you'd like."

It was the most unusual gift Katya had ever received, but the most touching. She smiled slightly. "Bol'shoe spasibo, Peter." She hugged him tightly. "It's beautiful."

Peter gave a nervous chuckle. "I was hoping you'd like it."

Katya pulled back in order to put it on. "It's wonderful." After a few seconds, Katya leaned forward to turn the radio back up.

"I thought you hated Christmas music."

"It just became a little more tolerable."

**December 22**

Chaussette smiled when she caught sight of her friends. "Salut!" She approached the two Ferreteers with a bright smile. In true French tradition, she kissed each of them on their cheeks. It no longer took Palmer off-guard; he'd been around enough European Rovers to grow accustomed to the varying cultures.

Chaussette and Adagio had decided that it was in Palmer's best interest to see Paris for Christmas. The city had been his birthplace and they thought it was the best way to return him to his roots. Chaussette, a proud Parisian, was excited to show the youngster around her home.

"We are getting dinner, non?" Adagio asked.

Chaussette nodded. "I wanted Palmer to see the Champs Elysees before I took you two to dinner."

"What's at the Champs Elysees?" Palmer asked.

"Every year, they decorate it with one-hundred and fifty thousand lights. It's beautiful."

"That is very true," Adagio said. "But will it be able to compare to your radiant beauty?"

"Why Adagio, I didn't know you felt that way," Palmer teased.

Adagio gave the younger ferret a playful nudge. "I was speaking to Mademoiselle Chaussette."

Chaussette shook her head with a laugh. "You are too much."

"Hey, what's that?" Palmer asked. He pointed off into the distance. Chaussette turned to see the boy was motioning toward a large Ferris wheel.

"That is the Place de la Concorde," Chaussette answered. "They set that up every year." She grinned as her playful side began to shine through; she was one of the more subdued Rovers, but it didn't mean she was incapable of having fun. "We should ride it. You will be able to see all of the lights from up there."

"It's a bit high, non?" Adagio studied the tall ride. He wasn't sure if it would be worth it the risk.

Chaussette gently took him by the arm to try to entice him to walk toward the Ferris wheel. The expression on her face reminded him slightly of the excitable Anaïs. "Dis-oui!"

Adagio hesitated. Shaking his head, he couldn't help but laughed. "You know I cannot say no to a pretty face."

Adagio didn't pull his arm away from Chaussette as she excitedly led the two ferrets to Place de la Concorde. He was careful to note that Christmas seemed to bring out the poodle's childlike side. It was nice to see her playfulness for once. It was a shame she had to leave it behind when she was at work.

**December 23**

Everyone had gathered at Emerald and Diamond headquarters for the Christmas party that Chaussette had decided to have. Everyone who was interested was invited; Rovers from all over attended the party, including Rovers who didn't normally participate in the holiday. Free food had been enough of an incentive for them to want to come.

Anaïs' voice carried throughout headquarters. There was a bittersweet sound to it as she sang. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas was meant to be a heartwarming song of togetherness, but something tainted the lyrics with sadness. It seemed as if only team Emerald was aware of what the song truly meant to the normally chipper cat.

"I can't believe she's this hung up on Peppermint." Psamathe said. "They hadn't even seen each other since they were kids."

"Family's important to her," Njamba said. "She was so happy when he found her sister. She thought that they'd be a big happy family. You know how she is."

"I do," the Greek cat admitted. Anaïs had been convinced that when they found her sister, they were going to be able to bring her onto Emerald to fight alongside them and the Rovers. In reality, Peppermint's hatred for humankind had made her a threat to the society. She was their enemy.

"This has all been pretty devastating for her." Njamba sighed. "All she wanted was a sister. With Christmas coming up, it's been a little rougher than usual on her."

Psamathe frowned as she turned to watch the cat at the piano. She knew Anaïs would be grateful that no one outside of their team really knew how downhearted she really was. After she got the song out of her system, she would be back to her chipper self. It was the way Anaïs was.

"Someday soon, we all will be together," Anaïs continued to sing. "If the Fates allow. Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow. So have yourself a merry little Christmas now."

**December 24**

"I just wanted to say merry Christmas to all of you!" Huntress was grinning brightly.

Katya had her feet kicked up on the table as she watched Huntress going from each dog and cat in the room to hand out presents. It wasn't that Katya hated Christmas itself. On its own, it was harmless enough. It was when commercialism became the highlight of the season that she grew frustrated with it. She much prefers simple displays of affection that didn't rely on gift giving or grandiose light displays.

"It's too bad my big bruber couldn't be here," Huntress said.

Katya slowly turned to glare at Huntress. "Huntress. We talked about this."

"Huh?" Huntress blinked.

"Bruber," Katya said. "I hate that word."

"But that's what he is."

"Nyet," Katya said. "He is your brother, not bruber. I know you can say the word right."

"Aw, but there's nothing wrong with saying 'bruber'," Huntress said.

"If you say it again, I will take it away from you."

"You can't take words away from people." Huntress giggled. "That's just silly."

"Then I will take your tongue away."

"That'd just make it harder to say the word!" Huntress held her tongue as she attempted to say the word 'bruber', but it came out exceedingly mangled. "Burwabaa."

"It's like you are challenging me to kill you."

"Katya!" Chaussette called out to her younger comrade. "Settle."

"But I want to punch her!"

"Go and sit," Chaussette said, firmly. "Calm yourself."

Even on Christmas Eve, Chaussette was chasing after her teammates like children. At least some things would never change. Huntress, completely unperturbed by Katya's temper, continued with her gift-giving.

**December 25**

Christmas day was the best day. Hunter had been awake since the crack of dawn and he showed no signs of slowing down. He had spent most of the day with the First Family – his family. The First Family had been adamant about making Christmas about the less fortunate; they had donated money and gifts by the barrelful to local toy drives and homeless shelters. It was how they operated every year.

But on Christmas morning, they still had plenty of gifts to open from one another. They weren't opulent gifts. They were trinkets of affection that were bought or made with loving intentions. Even Hunter had made out like a bandit for the holiday season. Long after presents had been opened, Hunter rolled around in the wrapping paper. He loved the crinkling sound it made as he played and he was even sure to rip at it with his teeth. He had to share with the cat, of course. The two got along swimming, fortunately enough. So much so that Hunter occasionally toyed with the idea of suggesting to the Master that they should invite him to be a Rover. The others would have probably labeled him a traitor for it though.

Before the Master, Hunter had always spent Christmas on the streets or behind bars at the pound. It had been rough, but it taught him to really appreciate the good times. Hunter was interrupted when Kelsey, the president's daughter, sat on the floor beside him and the presidential cat. As tradition promised, she gave the two of them pieces of ham all to themselves. The family was about to retreat to Christmas dinner, but they would first make sure that the dog and cat had their own dinners to eat.

"Merry Christmas, you guys."

* * *

><p><strong>Credits and Translations<strong>

Road Rovers © WB  
>Earthworm Jim © Doug TenNapel<br>The Ferreteers and Rhett © NicGiraffe  
>Huntress © Greywolf Lupous<br>Katya, Hana, Njamba, D'Artagnan, Psamathe and Anaïs © Me

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh. Amein. – This is a prayer said on the first night of Hanukkah. It means "Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe who has kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Amen."

Shag, Sie haben ein Chanukkah vorhanden – Shag, here's your Hanukkah present.

Frohes Chanukah – Happy Hanukkah

Blitz, komm – Blitz, come

Braver hund – Good dog

Bol'shoe spasibo – Thank you very much

Salut – This is an informal way of saying "hello."

Dis-oui – It means "say yes" but it's the equivalent of someone going "pretty please" in English.


End file.
